About the Author
Diana Richardson is the author of The Heart of Tantric Sex and a teacher and practitioner of holistic body therapies. Born in South Africa, she became the disciple of tantric Master Osho in India in 1979. She is now based in Europe and travels extensively with her partner, hosting weeklong retreats for couples in tantric lovemaking.
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Tantric Orgasm for Women
Orgasm Versus Orgasmic
The nature of female orgasm is not easily generalized--quite possibly there are as many kinds of orgasm as there are women having them. Even so, in order to understand the nature of feminine energy it is helpful to look at orgasm from a number of angles.
Orgasm can be loosely divided into two categories--peak orgasm or valley orgasm. Naturally there can be a whole range of experiences between a peak and a valley, but what distinguishes one type from the other is the very basis of each type--the peak orgasm depends on an active building up of excitement and the valley orgasm rises into excitement through a state of complete relaxation.
From the very outset the approach and attitude is different. We tend to actively seek and “go for” the peak type of orgasm, to deliberately build it up. Achieving a peak orgasm becomes a linear, goal-oriented activity requiring a mental intention to get from one place to another. We assume that we need to do whatever is necessary to keep moving toward our final destination--the peak. A valley experience is more like an invitation without an expectation or demand of orgasm. Something may or may not happen. The final outcome is not an issue, rather the focus is on the joy of the moment--being here and now in the body--which allows the journey to unfold without a predetermined direction. In place of pursuing an orgasm there is an openness to and acceptance of what is taking place in the body, which creates the sensitivity necessary for an orgasmic valley experience to emerge.
To arrive at a peak orgasm we must usually expend considerable physical effort. The aim is to intensify the stimulation and bring the deliciously exciting sensations into one glorious crescendo. This involves repeated mechanical movements of the pelvis, which get faster and faster toward the end. This activity is necessary in order to build energy to a peak but at the same time it also builds up a lot of tension, which compresses the energy into the genitals. In contrast, to allow a valley experience to flower we need to do everything very slowly in the most relaxed, languid, lazy way possible. We avoid deliberate doing and abandon any movements or positions producing tensions. The penetration of the vagina by the penis is deliberately slow, and so are all the pelvic movements. This relaxation between the genitals encourages a radiation and expansion of energy into other parts of the body. The peak orgasm is usually quite a hot affair. In the valley things are a lot cooler. Any pleasurable moments of excitation can be enjoyed for what they are, but they will be followed by minutes of relaxation, not fed and inflamed into a climax as in the peak orgasm. Through slowing down into a more non-doing approach and bringing awareness to internal movements of energy, an inner sensitivity awakens which has little to do with excitement or stimulation. This sensitivity reveals in the body a layer of magnetic excitation that is cool, cellular, and ecstatic. A buildup of excitement is not even really required for a relaxed orgasmic experience.
Another way in which a peak orgasm will differ from a valley orgasm is the duration of the experience. A peak orgasm is estimated to last, on a good day, a maximum of ten seconds. So we can say a peak experience has a pretty definite start and finish. This makes it more like an event--we “have an orgasm,” or not, as the case may be. In contrast, the valley orgasm is a more sustained state, a timeless experience without a specific start or finish. It can be five seconds or five hours, the time span is irrelevant--the experience the same. In a valley orgasm, an ecstatic peace descends upon us, surrounds us, embraces us, we are suspended in it--we “become orgasmic.” It is an expanded state of consciousness--not a momentary event recordable in seconds.
Relaxation lies at the very base of any enhancement of experience, so relaxation and more satisfying orgasm go hand in hand. All orgasms, conventional peak orgasms and otherwise, are enhanced by relaxation. Any relaxation of any body part (even if only briefly) invites the expansion of energy on which all orgasm and heightened experiences are based. Relaxation spontaneously leads to more inner awareness, increased bodily sensitivity, and more psychological openness. And relaxation automatically gives rise to qualities that are essential to feminine energy. Especially for woman, relaxation is essential because it moves her away from the active outward male kind of _expression, which is required for conventional orgasm, and puts her unquestionably into the receptive feminine mode. Often the effort expended in attempting to create orgasm blocks the very sensitivity necessary for orgasm to occur. In our effort to “get there,” our movements become faster and harder, more and more unconscious and aggressive, decreasing our sensitivity with each move we make. In contrast, an orgasmic state, or any orgasm achieved through relaxation for that matter, engages the genuine, deep-rooted, feminine energies of a woman, which allow the orgasm to be a fully satisfying full-body experience. Orgasm is not necessarily a huge explosion, a volcanic eruption. It can also be a cool, peaceful, calm, relaxing valley where the body floats as light as a feather, dissolving into love-drenched nothingness. It can be the experience of eternity, beyond time, suspended in space by breath, one with the pulsation of life. It also happens as if by miracle, that from this depth of relaxation a peak of energy arises, but without any effort at all. A subtle force rises slowly and steadily from the depths moving into a sexual dance, as if choreographed by a divine energy passing through the bodies.
Exploring Tantra from the female perspective, Diana Richardson reveals the critical role of receptive feminine energy. Her 20 years of tantric research provides an understanding of how women can exert a powerful influence on their sexual experiences when they understand the inner workings of their bodies and avoid adopting conventional ideas about what should be satisfying to them.